The National Addiction Memorial honors the loved ones we’ve lost.

Cait’s Story

Cait was born into a large Catholic family. She had just one older brother, but many aunts, uncles and cousins. We had family dinners, attended church, CCD classes, and girl scouts. She played softball and field hockey, not being into those sports she did cheerleading from 2nd grade until senior year of high school. She grew up in a normal loving family. Cait was my only daughter, my best friend. I miss our Mother Daughter times immensely. Cait loved small children, animals, and her family. She was always the friend people went to for advice and support. And she always gave it whole heartedly.
My Cait began to experience crippling anxiety in high school. She said she was never comfortable in her own skin. If this was the cause of her addiction, I am not sure. It started at senior week 2009, the experimentation with drugs. Then after having some serious relationship problems she progressed to heroin, being co-codependent with her current boyfriend at the time. She was lost to her addiction and family for close to two years. Finally I was able to convince her and or drag her to rehab. She completed a month there. The day after she was home she overdosed. She was taken by ambulance to York Hospital where she was largely ignored because she had regained consciousness and was just a drug addict to them. This I remember clearly, having never experienced this type of ignorance.
In about a week to 10 days she was back to the same rehab, Retreat of Lancaster. After the second month of clear headedness she wanted to be clean. The Vivitrol shot helped her a lot with the cravings she had for the drug heroin. Later, Caitlin relapsed again and went back to rehab willingly, of her choice. I fear there were other relapses, small slips that I was unaware of. Finally, in December of 2014 she decided to be clean from everything while still being on the vivitrol shot and attending NA. She was actively working toward recovery. She was doing great. I had my daughter back. Her family had her back.
Caitlin wanted to stop the Vivitrol shot. In NA that is known as substituting one drug for another. She was clean of all drugs for almost 5 months. She relapsed on a Thursday. I know this because she wrote in a notebook that “she relapsed to the thing she cannot seem to stay away from”. That following Sunday, April 26, 2015, she passed of an accidental heroin OD on her bed in her home, doing homework. She had five classes left to graduate York College with a BA in Psychology. She wanted to work in a rehab and help other addicts. She never got the chance. She didn’t want to be an addict and never expected that would happen the first time she tried heroin. Please don’t try heroin the first time. Addiction can happen to anyone.

My husband John was such an amazing man. The day we met it was love at first sight. He was handsome, intelligent and had the best personality. We would laugh for hours some days. We married on 2•16•12 and had two beautiful children together. As time went on I noticed his demons that would haunt him, despite how hard he would try. He would do well for months but when placed in an emotional situation he would turn to alcohol. He suffered from anxiety and depression. After time, he would turn to alcohol and when he was intoxicated, he would turn to cocaine. They were vicious cycles. He would be full of so much shame after each time he used. One thing I admired most about him was his ability to do whatever he put his mind to. But on October 7, 2016, his demons were far greater than his strength and he lost his battle with addiction. He passed away that morning from an accidental overdose of cocaine laced with fentanyl. My nightmare had now become my reality. The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life was tell our two young children that their daddy, with whom they loved with all of their hearts, was gone. I believe his mental illness played a major part in his addiction. The last thing he would ever want was to leave his family. We would have been married 7 years in a couple of days, so this time of year is always painful. So many “what if’s.” John is missed dearly every single day by his family. The only peace I get is that he’s in Heaven in complete peace. He’s not in anymore pain and is with our Lord who he loved with all of his heart...

My brother was my best friend and losing him to addiction was devastating. He battled the last few years of his life with a heroin addiction, but it never stopped him from being a good father to his 3 wonderful sons. A medical malpractice left him with an opiate addiction which in turn took his life. He was my best friend and living without him has been horrible, he was always so full of life, happy go lucky, and the best father I know to his children. He lived with me at the time and had off and on for years so it’s been very hard for my children as well, we miss him dearly and if it wasn’t for negligence on a doctor's part just maybe he would be here today.

So full of life. Never knew a stranger. Lit up the room when she walked in. Could turn a boring, dull day into a fun, sunshiny day! She had struggled with Bipolar Disorder since she was 11. She was medicated and put on disability since she was 13. She made poor choices in her life and she really struggled to the point where she lived in her car. She was with a deadbeat guy for 13 years. When he went to prison, she got sober. When he got out, she started again cause he was her influence. Never took care of her financially, but had her on every drug imaginable. We would try to talk to her, but it did no good. She was an adult and made many bad choices. Her last high was a high dosage of fentanyl that killed her right beside him. He never called 911 until he moved her down the street in 17 degrees, went back to the apartment to clean up the drugs and guns. To this day, he was never arrested and continues to deal drugs. We miss her and a part of us died when she died. I never found out exactly what happened or who was there because they are saving themselves from criminal activity. She was surrounded by her loved ones who she thought was her friends. God bless my angel. Forever 33

Mike was a standout athlete who was constantly getting aimed at and had many ankle injuries in soccer. He was a division 1 soccer player. We didn’t know about the addiction problem that we know now. We would take him to hospital and they would X-ray and send him home with 30 Percocet and two refills. This happened many times. He became addicted and grew to need more and more. He lost his fiancé and then tried to commit suicide. He asked to go to rehab. I sent him to Florida. There he learned to shoot heroin. He was never the same. When he died he had been sober seven months so needless to say we were shocked to hear he had passed after talking to him 2 1/2 hours prior. Nothing is ever the same or right. Heart pain is excruciating! ❤️💓💞💔😢

Tyler was my best friend and my son.
He was an only child.
Good kid, always. Never any trouble other than the normal kid stuff.
When Tyler was 15 his dad passed away very suddenly from an illness.
Tyler and his dad were best friends so Tyler was left broken hearted.
At the age of 23 he was introduced to the demon heroin.
Tyler only used for a short time but I feel he was hooked from the first try.
He tried to quit and he was ashamed of using it.
He told me mom I don't want it (heroin) it wants me.
Tyler passed away at age 24.
I love you Tyler. Happy Valentine's in heaven.

My son was a great kid. He was proud of the fact that he graduated high school and encouraged his friends and girlfriend to get their GEDs because it was important to finish school. His friendships lasted a lifetime. He was funny and loyal. He was self sufficient until he had a lung resection done and got addicted to opioids. Then he had a bad grease burn at work and more opioids and then a car accident and more opioids. Then when he couldn't get the opioids from his doctor anymore, he went to the streets. He got addicted to fentanyl and then when his life got totally out of control he went to rehab where he met his last dealer. He was sober for six months. On June 10th, 2017, he had a bad day and couldn't get fentanyl. He got heroin and he died. He was 25 years old. He is missed everyday by everyone. We will never be the same. I try to tell myself we were all better for him being in our lives than not.

Bobby was a funny kid. He could make anyone laugh except for himself. He was in a relationship of cheat and deceit. On April 11 he shot himself. Remained on life support until April 13. He was an organ donor who saved six lives.

My brother started with back problems and was prescribed morphine. He progressed eventually to heroin for years. We didn’t know and we were in denial for a long time. He got clean and was clean for 2 years. I thank God for those last two years because we got close again and he was so happy. He had 5 children from 4th grade to 12th grade. They found him in his room when he overdosed. Cause of death was homicide by Fentanyl. He was so excited to begin a new life and get back on track again. He was talking about gong to school for hotel management.

Goodbye baby brother. You were a best friend since birth, you were supposed to grow old with us. You could light up a room with your smile and sense of humor. You are gone far too soon. A piece of my heart goes with you. You were the best person you knew how to be, you just couldn’t defeat those demons, though you tried like hell. I will forever miss your laugh. These drugs have taken too many. You were a great brother, father, son, uncle, nephew, brother-in-law, cousin and friend. Those who knew you and those that were loved by you were lucky to have had you in their life, even if for a short time. We love you Chad Kriner.

He was a hard working young man, loved money and expensive things... He struggled for many years with addiction. Was in an out of rehab, overdosed several times.. it was bad, very bad... I still have nightmares about this horrible addiction...it's senseless and sad...😭😭😭

Chris was so proud of his sobriety that everyone thought that this was the time that would last. Unfortunately, he battled demons that led to his death. Will be missed forever by his Mom and StepDad, Granny, his love Stefanie and many other family members.

James stood by me for 18 years having children, raising children, working hard, loving, sharing, and caring. We lived. James struggled with his addiction and ultimately died from it. We all miss him terribly.

Sammi was a precious child, but at age 3 she was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. Her life changed and as she got older. She suffered with seizures which caused brain damage. In High school she got involved with the wrong crowd and drugs became a problem. Her mother had her in rehabs but as soon as she would get out she would be right back to using within weeks. She was such a caring young lady, but it was for others not herself. Sammi's bio Dad was in and out of prison her whole life, so that was something also missing for her. I'll never forget the morning my daughter went to check on her and found her not breathing. The EMT's worked on her for 30 minutes and brought her body back. But 2 days later they pronounced her brain dead. She was an organ donor and 4 people's lives were helped because of her. But she was a beautiful person that even with her addiction was loved.

He was a loving son and father and a great person. He was always helping others. I miss his hugs, kisses and the roses he always got me. Always in my heart and in my thoughts. R.I.P. until we're together again. Momma 💘 and misses you. xoxoxo

Charlie aka “Chuck" was my best friend.
He was my original other half because he was my twin. Growing up, we learned everything together from tying our shoes to riding our bikes. He was a very kind, sensitive brother. Although we were the same age he called me “ kid.” He always defended me and had my back. In fact he hated to see me cry. I guess I could say I was the same way with him. Unfortunately, he started with pot in high school and progressed to harder drugs. He hid it well and denied it till the day he died. I miss him everyday. He was found dead on Valentines Day. It’s a reminder to me to always tell those that you ❤️ that you do. Tomorrow is never promised. I love you bro.

The day I found out I was pregnant with Ricky was the happiest day of my life. The day the police came to my door and told me my son was found deceased was the worst day of my life. My son truly was a blessing and I am so happy that he chose me to be his mom I am forever grateful. I long for the day we are together again. I will give him the tightest hug and never let him go!!!!

My Jon Boy was a very intelligent, deep thinking, loving, and compassionate boy who grew into a man of great integrity but who never quite found his way here on earth. Jon could never seem to finish anything he started, high school, community college, the army, start up business, jobs. He was a dreamer much like his dad who had many mental health and drug issues as well. We divorced when Jon was three years old and Jon never really knew him. His dad died in an automobile accident after drinking and doing drugs all day with his older brother. His brother was driving the car. Jon was six years old when this happened. That is one of the things we shared, as I lost my father when I was six years old also. Jonathan was always showing his love for the people who meant the most to him. He adored his two young sons Stephen and Justin and his wife Bethany. Before the demon drugs took hold of him, Jon was always smiling and full of life. But then of course he became someone no one wanted to be around. He remained a loyal friend. My son and I had a very strong and unique bond. We had our differences but under it all the love was always there. He was my joy and I adored him as did everyone who met him. Jon lived in many places since moving out of our home at the age of 18 and was in the army on 9/11 when our world seemed to be crashing down. He did not fulfill his time in the army and was discharged with many other young men due to their drug use. We had not lived in the same state since he was about 21 years old. He moved around on the east coast a lot and ended up in Texas when he was 25. This is where he met his future wife. I think he moved away from us so that we would not know about the extent of his drug use. We had no idea he was using. We found out that Jon struggled with addiction from the time he was a teenager. He had back and neck issues and was prescribed Oxycontin back then and then moved on to all sorts of other drugs but ended up on heroin during his last few years on earth. He bought what he thought was heroin that turned out to be Fentanyl. I miss him so much and just wish others would understand that my son had a disease and did not want to become addicted or die. If I had it to do over again I would not have done the "tough love" route with him for the last two years of his life after I found out he was using heroin. I would have been more aggressive in getting him into recovery. I have guilt over this but I know he knew how much I loved him. If you have a child or loved one struggling just give them the emotional support and love they so desperately need. Not money, love and constant support is what they crave. Tell them how important they are and worthy of your love. Jon did not get any of that in the end and we all now regret turning him away, but as anyone who has someone with an addiction in their life knows, it is almost impossible to deal with their lying, stealing, anger, and distorted view of the real world on a daily basis. It's exhausting and a threat to our own mental and physical health. But they need our compassion because they are not the person we know, they have become the person the drugs have created. I will continue to honor my son Jonathan Justin Shea for as long as I am breathing here on earth and will never stop trying to bring awareness to others about the disease of addiction.

Kailey was a beautiful soul who loved without judgement of anyone. She would give whatever she had to others no matter if they were known to her or a complete stranger. She had found her true calling when she became a mom. She loved her daughter so much and was an absolutely amazing mom! She struggled with addiction and after a long period of sobriety had a relapse and died as a result. The impact she had on so many will go on even in her absence. You couldn’t have met her and not have been impacted by her. To me it’s not about how she died but about how she lived. I will miss and love her every day of my life

Tanner...what an amazing son, brother, cousin, friend!! This drug robbed us of all of his beautiful qualities!!