The National Addiction Memorial honors the loved ones we’ve lost.

I'm not sure where to begin with the story of my dad. I struggle with this because I was never aware of his addiction until about six months before his death. My family wanted to protect me and they knew he was afraid I wouldn't love him if I had known. The truth is, learning of his addiction made me want to love him more because I knew he needed it. When I found out, I ordered him a pocket angel that says "always with you" for him to carry around to remind him I would never stop loving him or caring about him. He had that angel in his pocket the day he died, and now I carry it with me each and every day.

My father was an incredible person and I learned so much from him. I only wish he wasn't taken from me when I was at the young age of 24. The heartache I face when I realize he will never know my children is just unbearable. I think this is a testament to how amazing he was. He taught me to love with all of my heart. He taught me to care for everyone you meet and see the good in others. He taught me that life is good and that you should take time to notice "the small things." He taught me that you'll never regret a phone call to a loved one, even if it's just a short 5 minute call to say hello and I am thinking of you. I miss those phone calls with my dad. I could honestly hear him light up just by his voice because he was genuinely so happy to talk to me, even if I was on my way to work and didn't have a long time to talk.

I have so many favorite memories, but my favorite would have to be this one:
Sophomore year of college I surprised my dad by coming home for a visit. I was about 10 minutes away from his house when I called him and asked him what he was doing. I knew he was having a rough day and he sounded kind of sad, so it made me happy that I had decided to come home to surprise him. When he told me he was just hanging around the house, I told him he should go to the front door and look outside. He sounded confused but when he opened the door I was standing there waiting for him! His face completely lit up and he started to tear up, giving me the biggest bear hug. For everyone who didn't know my dad, he was the world's best hugger. Just knowing I made his hard day a little easier gives me peace at moments like this when I'm missing him.

I'm thankful for the 24 years I got to have my dad in my life and I know he's watching over us all now, finally at peace and no longer struggling with addiction.

Thank you to Shatterproof for allowing me to write a testimonial and share a little bit of my dad's life with everyone here.

Dad, you're always in my heart. There isn't an hour of any day that goes by that I'm not thinking of you and wishing you were here.

Love always,
Ashley

Nathan enjoyed his quality time with his children. He played baseball, basketball, floor hockey most of his young life and his favorite leisure time was fishing. Nathan always helped anyone who needed it and was a big hugger who loved blowing kisses (muah) to his lived ones. Family called him Nate while his dear friends called him Nizzo.

Nathan started his addiction after graduating high school when he started marijuana. But what really started him on his addiction was when he started working on fishing boats, where he would be out for two weeks at a time on lobster boats working. He got introduced to oxycontin pills to stay awake and work.

Nathan tried for many years to get sober for himself and his children. He would be sober for a year straight a few times but in the end the disease won.

My beautiful son died at the young age of 35 and he has also lost family and friends to drug addiction.

Meaghan never denied her addiction. It was a part of who she was. She fought for 17 years until the very end.
She had dreams of becoming an addiction counselor one day.
Her addiction started with pills, then opioids, and onto heroin. It was a weekend methadone overdose that killed her.
Her organs were donated and she lives on through her heart, liver, and kidneys.
I will forever miss her warmth, humor, and kind spirit!

Andrew was born to climb, whether it was scaling the refrigerator when he was a toddler or the side of a mountain when he was 20. On the annual Thanksgiving hike or the 4th of July race, he flew. As a boy, backpacking in Colorado with family, and all over the southeast with just his dad, Andrew was at ease in the woods. Snowboarding was one of his greatest loves, especially the long runs at Whistler. So was Cape Cod; playing in the ocean, riding bikes on the canal, and building bonfires with his Bostonian cousins.

Drew was intellectual, philosophical, and creative. He was a deep thinker, although few knew it. He was widely read and loved science fiction, particularly Lord of the Rings and Star Wars. He embraced diverse music from country and rock to alternative and rap. He got in trouble at preschool for singing a line from Johnny Cash’s Folsom Prison Blues. He thoughtfully chose Christmas gifts that were quirky but perfect. He collected souvenir pins from places he or family traveled. He wanted to see the world, especially if it could be on a motorcycle. He was daring in the kitchen and hoped to be a chef. Growing up, Drew lamented that he was the only boy in America without a dog. Goose, a pointer-beagle mix, recently came into his life, and he was able to enjoy her unconditional love and wet kisses.

Drew was a great son, brother, grandson, cousin, and friend - he laughed and cared - he was a remarkable young man. He spent the last four years wrestling addiction and the onset of mental illness. We didn’t understand it, we fought it, and we fought each other. Finally, Drew couldn’t fight any more and heroin stole him. We are grateful he came home - as hard as it was to find him, we were able to know where he was and be near him. Addiction is an abominable disease and drains the life from all it touches. Mental health disorders are misunderstood and often feared. We want to honor Drew and give hope to families who are navigating addiction and mental illness, especially behind closed doors. It is too big and hard to face without hope.

We are grateful to have shared his journey for 21 years.

Matthew was just 27 years old when he passed away. He struggled with addiction from the time he was a teenager. Growing up was not an easy time for him. He went from smoking pot to heroin and tried many times to quit. There were things going on in his life that he would not want to talk about. He was living in a halfway house after having gone through detox. He had a job that he loved and was a great chef in a wonderful restaurant. He unfortunately made the choice to inject himself with a lethal combination of heroin with fentanyl. He did not intentionally want to die.

Matthew will live on by giving the gift of life to six other people. Matthew was an organ donor. Every day I miss him terribly and am grateful to have had him in my life for 27 years.

My son struggled for so many years off and on drugs. He had so much pain and hurt in his soul which always led him back to drugs. He tried so hard but in the end tore his shoulder and was given tramadol at the ER. We assume this is what led him back to heroin as two days later on Christmas day he died from combination if heroin and tramadol. 😢

I had to come to terms with 3 things:
1. He made that ultimate decision due to his addiction.
2. I did everything humanly possible to help him with his battle.
3. I had to forgive those who acted out in anger at me, I had to forgive my husband, and I had to forgive myself for feeling like I didn’t do enough.
My husband was a career firefighter, retired as a captain, and was also a private pilot. The world was his oyster but he didn’t see that because of the addiction. A beautiful soul, that will ALWAYS have my heart, is gone too soon. I hope to someday make a difference in his honor. ❤️

Chris was one of a kind filled with endless energy, intelligent, handsome, and funny. Everything I’ve ever wanted in a husband.
We reconnected on Facebook after many years apart (we attended the same high school and he was our paper boy when I was a teen). I fell in love with him immediately. He was adventurous and positive, kind and caring. He was a captain at Lansing Fire Dept, and with the department for 25 years. Always the “life of the party." Unfortunately, that started an addiction he battled with his entire life. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do to “ feel happy”, as he felt “ broken” inside. He had a TBI when he was 21, and never had followup care, which I believe caused a severe chemical imbalance, leading to his many addictions.
We were together five years, married a little over two when he took his life. He was my BEST FRIEND, my EVERYTHING. In a flash, he was gone. Life as I knew and loved was over.
I will never forget the blessings I gained from being in love with this man. I cherish every moment we had together, good and bad. If I could only have one more day with him.....

Larry was a gentle giant of a man. He reached out to all people, showing love, kindness, abundant generosity, and an innate ability to laugh and tease. He accepted all views on life and was a person of many talents and interests. Larry played football, cherished music, loved the wonders of nature, and enjoyed a bad horror movie. Having received a degree in Business Administration, he ran the family sign business before taking his skills to nonprofits, where he served people behind the scenes. Whether in an elementary charter school, adult reading center, or rehab center, all occupations fit within the realm of helping others to become better people. His compassion was seemingly boundless, once driving a stranger to the vet even though he had to book a hotel and wake up before 6 am to get there. He spent much of his time canoeing and walking in nature with his daughters in Harper's Ferry and Sugarloaf Mountain. He supported them in every way he could. Despite all of his strengths, Larry battled a progressive disease with alcohol, which overcame him.

One of the best ways to remember Larry is through his inscription on the inside cover of a book to his grandson Lochlan, before he was born.

“Hi,
I don’t know your name yet, but I do know that I love you.
This book is one of our favorites.
I read it to your Mom and Sammy many times and eventually they read it to me.
I hope this will bring you as much joy as it has brought to us.
With all my love,
Larry”

Larry’s laughter, kindness, and gentle heart brought joy to many people over the course of his life. We are grateful every day that we can carry him in our hearts.

I will never forget the day Mackenzie was born. He weighed barely five pounds. His older brother Mathew and him were the best of friends when they were little boys growing up. Mackenzie always struggled with reading and writing. It turns out he had dyslexia. By the time he was in middle school he was experimenting with some of his friends. Mostly with marijuana but probably some other things that I wasn’t aware of as well as alcohol just like his father. By the time he got to high school, his addiction was getting worse and worse. He was actually snorting the air cans that are used for desk cleaning along with his friends. He ended up dropping out of high school but he continued to work full-time. Then he definitely fell in with the wrong group of people. He was in a couple of car accidents where he was prescribed opiates for medication. That would’ve been when he was about 19 and for the next 11 years it was a roller coaster ride of addiction. One thing to come out of those years is my grandson, Mackenzie’s son Orion. My son had turned 30 May 31, 2018. On Monday morning July 9, I found him in his bedroom in our house laying in his bed and when I touched him he was cold. Many, many of Mackenzie‘s friends came to his funeral service. All of them reached out to me and told me what a big heart he had and was always there to help them even when he had nothing. I miss him every day and I know that will never stop.

James loved his family and friends. A licensed electrician who was so excited about starting his life over again. We met at a rehab and this was not your usual rehab hook-up. We fell in love immediately and had plans for the future. He used to call me the “One!” I would say, “How do you know?” He would reply, “You know when you know!” We knew! He was so handsome and fun to be with. James was sober for two years when two days after his birthday he overdoses. I miss him so much! We were going to go out and celebrate his birthday. He was so happy. I miss his smile, his kisses, his music, his embrace, and the laughter we shared.

Amanda's fight with addiction started in high school when she was 16. She was a gifted writer and won awards for her writing. She fought so hard to overcome her addiction, and even managed to earn a bachelor's degree in psychology while struggling with it. She was the strongest woman I have ever known yet the drugs were so much stronger. My granddaughter was in a sober living community and was drug free for six months. I love her and miss her so dreadfully but I know that she is happy and with God today.

In his final semester at New York University, Blaine was pursuing a Masters in Fine Arts and completing his final thesis as a photographer. With one of his greatest gifts being the ability to share his passion for creating art, Blaine took on the task of teaching photography to NYU students. Blaine cared so deeply about anyone who ever walked into his life, whether it be a fellow street photographer he met in the city, a new friend, his family, or lifelong friends. Ask anyone who knew Blaine, he could ALWAYS find common interests. Blaine’s love for learning was apparent within just a few minutes of being with him. Though he is no longer here to explain the physics of a black hole (or at least try to), his thirst for knowledge should live within each and every one of us. He will forever be missed, loved, remembered, and inspiring to us all.

While those who knew Blaine may know of his battle with addiction, it is the positive, inspiring, and beautiful memories that we wish to carry on. With that, we ask that donations be made in his honor with the intent of bringing hope to others with similar stories.

My son, my only child. He always had a very easy going personality. He always enjoyed pleasing others. He is a handsome guy. It was a struggle for him after his dad left at age 12. I believe it is where the pain began, where he wanted to hide. He chose friends that would accept him. I truly miss my best friend. He was my only confidant. Thru his addiction he would never want to disappoint anyone. Jovan hid it away very well. He was not happy where he was in his life. He fought very hard the last 3 years on his addiction. He relapsed and lost with a tainted drug. I can never be who I was. I lost my life with my baby also.

Ashleigh’s struggles with addiction were mostly with alcohol. She did do other drugs at times but alcohol was the one constant in her life. She died on her bedroom floor of a fentanyl and ether overdose. It was 30 days to the day she got out of rehab and a day before going back. She made a fatal decision to have a girl she met in rehab back to her dad's house where the girl gave her the lethal dose of fentanyl and ran, leaving her dead on her floor. She paid the ultimate price for a bad decision.

She was a great mom. She tried several times to get off drugs, went to a couple of treatment centers, but just couldn't make it. I am raising her children and I really miss being able to talk to her about them. Even when she was out there she called every day to check on her kids. She was my best friend and I really miss that.

Mark was a wonderful person who had the disease of addiction. He loved his family and friends!
We miss him every day 💜🙏

Kristopher struggled with addiction for several years. He thought he could stop his addiction by himself but it got the best of him. He left us on a Saturday morning in his bathroom, never seeing his daughter Kloe again. He will forever be missed. He will never know how much he was loved.