The National Addiction Memorial honors the loved ones we’ve lost.

An avid music lover, Mary Ellen loved playing her favorite tunes loudly and dancing around the house for hours. Her passion for the arts extended to other forms as well and her home was filled with numerous paintings, photographs, and sculptures. Aside from her love of the arts, Mary Ellen possessed an innate ability to bring comfort to those around her. Commonly referred to as "Mama D" by many of her "adopted children," she was rich with people who appreciated her for her giant heart and free spirit. If she wasn't out finding new art it was common to find her deep in conversation with loved ones telling them to pursue the paths that would make them the happiest in life. As a mother, she encouraged her children to get involved in whatever made them happy and always supported even their craziest endeavors. She was a woman who never walked into a room unnoticed and her booming voice, warm greetings, and contagious laugh are things that will be treasured forever by all those who loved her.

Mary Ellen struggled with addiction for the better part of 20 years. Her battle with substance use was like that of many others, up and down, with good times and bad. Just two weeks before her 60th birthday she ended her fight with addiction and passed on to the next chapter of her existence. She is missed by many, from both family to friends, and we hope that donations made in her name will help other families struggling with this illness.

My brother suffered from this disease for several years before he finally passed December 14th, 2016. As I sat down to write his memorial, the last years of his life were hard for him, as well as for the rest of our family, as we tried in so many different ways to help him overcome it. My older brother wrote a passage from "A River Runs Through It" that I think encompasses what most people have had to deal with:
“Each one of us here today will at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question: We are willing to help, Lord, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. And so it is those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love completely without complete understanding.”
We loved Brian, we loved him with our whole heart, he was more than just a person with an addiction, he was a kind and caring person, he was one of the most persistent people I have ever known. He loved the outdoors and taking photos of the beautiful surrounding of Glacier National Park where we both grew up. He loved people and animals, and he had a desire to do more with his life.
His addiction was not a moral failure. Whatever he did to overcome his addiction, we know he did his best. However we tried to help him, we know that we too did our best with the knowledge that we had. There is no blame. There is only love. Brian fought bravely, he struggled, but he fought it the best he could. Ultimately the disease took his life but it could never take our love for him. We will forever be proud of him and we will forever love him.

William (Billy) Charles Decker, beloved son and brother, lost his battle with addiction Tuesday afternoon at his home in Armonk. Born on August 29, 1985, Billy attended Iona Prep before graduating from The Brunswick School in 2004. He then went on to receive his Bachelor’s degree from Northeastern University in Boston. Billy was known for his enthusiasm for sports, especially basketball, which was his passion. He was also an avid Knicks fan. Not only did he love to play, but also took great pleasure in watching his younger siblings and cousins. He went to Madison Square Garden every chance he could due to his LOVE for the Big East conference, specifically the St. John’s Red Storm and never accepted the dismantling of “the real Big East” conference. Although Billy was a living and breathing Giants football TRUE BLUE fan he was happiest when watching his little brother, Kevin, who attended the University of New Hampshire play football. Billy loved attending UNH football games, he was Kevin’s #1 fan and was beloved by the team. Billy was constantly rocking his Yanks sweatshirt and flat-brimmed hat, which were a part of him, screaming his love for the Yankees. Billy found great joy in visiting his sister, Samantha, in the Vermont Mountains to snowboard and be among friends. Billy is survived by his parents, Charlene and Bill, his sister, Samantha, and his brother Kevin, many aunts, uncles, and cousins, who he loved dearly. He also leaves behind his two four legged buddies, Jake and Bodie. It is with a heavy heart that Billy leaves us, the pain will be with us forever. We are thankful for the short time that we were given with Billy and find relief that his pain and struggles are over. We are left with beautiful memories that will forever live in our hearts.

There is no single answer as to why Rob began his substance use. Rob's chronic disease started with college drinking and gradually progressed to prescription opioids and finally to heroin. He had no way of knowing that opioids would eventually change his brain structure in such a way that drugs became necessary for him to just "feel normal." His addiction was not a moral failure. Whatever he did to overcome his addiction, we know he did his best. However we tried to help him, we know that we too did our best with the knowledge that we had. There is no blame. There is only love. Rob fought bravely, he struggled, but the drugs overpowered him. Ultimately the disease took his life but it could never take our love for him. We will forever be proud of him and we will forever love him.

Rob's death should not define him. He lived a remarkable life filled with joy and love. He was warm, caring, and compassionate to others, friends and strangers alike. He could "dazzle" us with his beautiful blue eyes, and keep us laughing with his quick wit. He was so smart. He had a bright future in finance. He had a vast knowledge of music, books, technology, sports, cooking, and all things Pittsburgh. He loved discovering new restaurants. He loved to snowboard in Colorado, where he lived for a few years. He loved going with his friends to as many concerts as he could... live shows were a true passion. He was interested in photography and took endless pictures of his adopted home of NYC, and of his nephew, Sammy, whom he adored. He would have loved having two nephews (Theo was born two years after Rob died, and shares so many characteristics of his Uncle Robbie, especially his humor!). He loved to travel and meet new people. He had known love and suffered some heartbreaks along the way. But most of all, Rob had a fierce love for his friends and family, especially his parents and his twin sister, Katy. He lived an amazing life for 35 years, one that we were all blessed to be a part of.

Duane Newell was so many things to do many people. He was known as an avid athlete and adrenaline junky, a compassionate leader, a doting husband, a loving and tender father, the friend who’d always be there to move your furniture or hear you pour your soul out without judgement and he’d always give the most direct truthful advice. The truth is, Duane had the tough guy exterior but was a humble, tender, kind soul on the inside.

He was always the life of the party; even after he gave up drugs and alcohol. His struggle with addiction spanned two decades and ended when he saw the pain it was causing his wife and young daughters.

During his 22 years of sobriety, before his tragic death, he dedicated himself to helping hundreds of others on their road to recovery. The lives he impacted or positively influenced left a large footprint in his community.

On December 1, 2017, Duane lost his life in a motorcycle accident. The hole left in the hearts of so many can only be lessened by remembering the full life he led, the positive impact that he made in this world and knowing that he is with God now.

Tristan was my sweet and sassy mini-me. She was a daughter, sister, mother, and wife. Tristan started social using and drinking during her early teen years. Being born a child of alcoholics, losing her father at a young age to alcohol issues, having an absent mother, and giving birth to her own beautiful daughter while in her teens, made it too easy to turn her social use to full blown addiction in a very short time. After years of using, several rehabs, stress, heartache, and struggle, Tristan went to sleep and never woke up. It was not an overdose, her poor abused 27 year old body, old soul, and troubled heart gave up the fight and found peace in the middle of the night. I pray no other parent has to experience their child overcoming addiction by death. I will fight the addiction battle of the world in her honor. Rest babygirl, Momma will take it from here.

Josh's addiction all started when he was in a motorcycle accident and had to be hospitalized for weeks. He was on a morphine drip then sent home with prescriptions for opioids which back then we were unaware of just how addicting they really were. If we had known, we probably would not have been giving them to him as prescribed. This was beginning of the end for our only son. He then moved to heroine as it became all too easy to get in our small town. He tried the suboxone program which he was thrown out of for testing positive for marijuana. Unbelievable right? He almost had his addiction beat only using about once or twice a month. and then on May 31 he used again. Unknowingly, the heroine was laced with fentanyl which took his life and broke my heart forever. Rip jmb

Born Bridget Fay Broadway she was always a fun loving happy child. She fell in love at 15, got pregnant, and married the man she loved. At 17, she was told her son had multiple birth defects. At 19, she was widowed when husband killed himself. She battled addiction and mental illness ( bipolar-suicidal-borderline personally disorder and addictive personality). After many doctors, she was given an rx to help. She would crash and have to go into the hospital to get stable. At 40, she became a grandmother but could not relate to a normal life and was in trouble over silly stupid behaviors which were part mental, part dependency issues. Never violent--just as cops said, wrong place, wrong time. At 41, her only child was killed in car wreck. Devastated, she went back to drinking but did go rehab 30 days in GA. This seemed to wake her up to life. Went into a mental health assistance and group home. Never adjusted well to restricted living and finally got approved for an apt in 2011. Participated in mental health programs but still had a hard time coping with life. Lived alone 5 years but supervised by a case worker. Found out she had cirrhosis in 2016. Health declined rapidly and she had back issues and also a knee replacement- neck bone surgery and a lot of pain. She was in a pain clinic, where she had be tested for drugs last year when they refused to see her due to bad test results. Was to go back for shots in her spine - steroid- to reduce pain and get OxyContin that they had been giving her over a year. She did have appt for shots which would help pain. She decided 02-09-17 to get “thrashed” and took all her kalonopin, drank 2 beers to a pain pill. Dropped dead after 12:30 am in apt. Took three days to locate her since she was supposed to go to family and never showed (was not uncommon). She never knew what hit her. Only took 20 minutes to go to brain and completely shut down breathing. Found her where she hit floor and she never moved.

Devin was a beautiful, gentle, introspective soul who saw spirituality and meaning in the everyday. He loved the ocean, nature, music, art, people and animals, especially his cat Reggae. He died of a heroin overdose after many years of battling addiction and his family believes speaking the truth may help others. He left us way too soon and will be missed always.

Staci wanted to DO everything. She wanted everyone to be her friend. She wanted to be on the Honor Roll. She wanted to play in every sport, on every team. She wanted to talk and be heard all the time. She wanted people to listen to her, to play with her, to learn with her, to laugh with her, and to party with her. She didn't care about convention, or rules, or manners, or safety, or worries, or time. She was magic and spirited, and so much fun to be around. Her imagination blurred a bit with reality, but she didn't care. She loved me and she knew how much I loved her. She loved her son Eli Gabriel, and when we lost him to Tay Sachs Disease when he was three, we heard Staci when she repeated that she only wanted to join him. We wanted Staci in OUR world, but she inhabited her own time and space. And in the end, she chose to NOT chose sobriety, to follow no rules, to reject the boundaries of a harsh life, and to lie down and rest with her son.

Peter started with marijuana in early HS years, expanded to alcohol and Xanax in college. Then added cocaine into the mix while having periods of time where his use of marijuana and Xanax would be minimal. However, his “self-medicating” peaks and valleys that were few in his early teens were growing in intensity and frequency during his college years. What Peter really needed was the best mix of professional aid/treatment along with the informed and proper support and help of his entire family, relative, friend, and university/community network. He needed treatment, but thought he had control, knowledge, experience, and the willpower/strength that would allow him to be a recreational user through his college years while continuing to be successful. He was a loyal, friendly, caring, passionate, intelligent boy becoming a man that had hopes, dreams, desires that simply could not be fulfilled while under the influences and effects of drugs. Together, let’s get better informed, educated, and active in order to better prevent and/or help others like him.

The Fox family is currently focusing its fundraising with “Your Choice” based out of Hartland, Wisconsin. However, we are just now being exposed to Shatterproof and would like to learn more about what seems to be a very well organized and run program on many fronts. Sincerely, Tim Fox

Kim and I were great friends and sisters. She would make me laugh and was an incredible person when she wasn’t using. We always knew when she was using because we wouldn’t hear from her. We had taken her to many rehabs, and she had gone to many rehabs even on her own. In the end, she was sober for eight months and then met someone in rehab and eventually couldn’t resist the demons. I will miss and do miss her terribly.... I know that she is up there with my mother who passed away five years ago from emphysema. Kim was never quite the same afterward. Please pray for her son and daughter. Thank you for listening.

When Sam was born, my first thought was that he radiated goodness. His wide eyes seemed to convey patience and reserve judgment of his new situation until the doctors and nurses had a chance to do their thing. As a little boy, he was curious and unhurried, giving each new experience due time for consideration and wonder. He paid particular attention to the details of animals, nature, books \, and music, developing an impressive repository of knowledge and songs, and later an interest in rock climbing and a knack for playing the guitar. He loved social activity, eagerly anticipating each opportunity to gather with friends and family.
The school years introduced some difficulty as Sam experienced some bullying as he struggled to fit in with and understand the rough and tumble world of the playground. The fact that his military family moved frequently compounded the problem. Sam courageously kept looking for connection and found good friendship along the way, but the years of struggle affected him. He developed an affinity for marijuana in high school which led to other drugs, including painkiller pills and eventually, heroin.
We struggled to find appropriate and effective treatment, but the addiction held him tightly hostage. He went down the road of an addict's existence with all its associated troubles. One night after picking him up in a dark corner of the city, he expressed his despair in believing that he would never be free of his cravings. Another time, from a stretcher on the way to an ambulance after an overdose, he looked at me, shook his head and said, "I'm sorry, mom. I'm sorry.'
Because addiction had such a hold, and treatment hadn't worked so far, I took him on a wilderness trip in an effort to give him space to start anew. We hiked 93 miles of the John Muir Trail together. Along the way, I stopped leading him, and he began leading me. He reached Donahue Pass first, and I could hear the joy in his voice as he cried out in celebration. He finished the trip healthier and stronger. He moved in with a friend and started working, which he hadn't been able to do for a year and a half due to his addiction. We both had the naive hope that he could make and execute the decision on his own to follow a sober path. Tragically, I got a call on September 7, 2015 that my beautiful, beloved boy had died of a heroin overdose.

AJ was loved and supported during his struggle with addiction. He had a caring and beautiful wife and together they had an absolutely precious little girl. AJ continued to struggle with sobriety and drug use, lies became bigger and he turned away from the people who loved him the most. His wife, Jenna, could no longer bear the pain and had to end their marriage. His brother and best friend was forced to turn away from him because their relationship became one sided with all of the lies. He didn't get to celebrate his daughter's first birthday. This is what addiction does, it takes everything you love and cherish away from you.
Following is the eulogy his ex-wife, Jenna, gave at AJ's funeral and she says it perfectly.

Today I want to speak on behalf of the boy I met when I was 15 years old and the man I grew to love and share a life with. I want to speak on behalf of the guy who was deemed "most likely to brighten your day" and "talks the most but says the least" in his high school yearbook (which I know isn't a surprise to many) and the guy who was my date to every high school dance. I want us to remember the kind-hearted person he was and the love he shared for soccer, music, Ohio State football, orange sherbet ice cream with nerds, his shoe collection and most importantly, BREAD. (SMILE)
I don't think I'm alone in saying AJ's smile and laugh could light up a room which makes sense because he loved to be the center of attention! He always knew the right thing to say to comfort someone and was willing to help, even though he was struggling himself. He had the best sense of humor, sometimes even laughing to himself at his own endless stream of jokes. AJ was present during some of the best and worst times of my life and I will always treasure those moments we had together. I'm thankful for the many years of happiness we shared.
More recently, AJ had rekindled his relationship with God and it was heartwarming to watch it grow as we attended church together. Nothing separates us from God's love, not our addictions and not our sins. AJ gave me the greatest gift a person can give and that is the gift of life, for that I am eternally grateful. My heart breaks for our daughter, Nora, who will never get the opportunity of getting to know her father. I hope she inherits his generosity, his kindness and his genuine love and caring for others. I will make sure she knows he loved her, and share all of our memories with her someday as I encourage all of you to do as well. She is the best part of him that he left behind for us to cherish. We will celebrate his life and carry him deeply in our hearts always and forever. I love you AJ.

Artie was born when I was 18 years old, and I always felt that God knew I was lonely so he gave me someone who was mine alone. He was smart and funny and beautiful, truly an old soul from the beginning of his life. Artie was one of those people who always took care of those less fortunate than himself, and he was quick to see social injustices--and attempt to rectify those wrongs. He was a self taught guitarist, and an avid comic book collector. He was always quick to debate any subject that he deemed worthy of debate. He loved the Dallas Cowboys and Dale Earnhart Jr. He considered himself a liberal, tree hugging hillbilly. He became addicted to opioids after being diagnosed with fibromyalgia at the age of 22, and fought every day of his young life to try to get clean. He passed away unexpectedly, after being sober for six months. He is missed by his brothers and sisters and me every single day.

He loved his family, friends, and music!! He loved unconditionally with all of his heart. All he ever wanted to do was entertain and make people smile, so maybe he could smile for a while!! He had the most beautiful smile and an infectious laugh. He was in a band called The God Particle, who had just released their first single a few months before. He always had to be doing something, he would get bored easily. A lover of movies, some of his favorites were Coen Brothers and Kevin Smith movies. His absolute favorite movies were the Star Wars movies. Favorite bands Deftones, Alice in Chains, Tom Waits, Michael Jackson, and Tool, with his #1 of all time...Limp Bizkit! He had a love for cooking and was always inventing some new recipe in the kitchen that took no less than every dish in the house to make. If he couldn't be a musician, he wanted to be a chef. He never met a stranger, he talked to and befriended everyone. He left behind three very young children who miss him! They won't remember him enough to have many memories. We talk about 'daddy' every day so they will always have memories of the man that loved them so much.