The National Addiction Memorial honors the loved ones we’ve lost.

Hillary was one of the most caring and kind people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. She was my best friend, my other half. The Fric to my Frac, and as she would say...the peanut butter to my jelly! I’m so grateful to God that he let our paths cross. She was fighting demons that most of us will never know about. I watched her fight this addiction so hard. She wanted it so bad and you could see that. Losing her has been the hardest thing, but knowing she is healthy and with her Mom in Heaven gives us all comfort. We love you Hills...to the moon and back.

Kenny was was an angel with a fire in his soul.  He was born to seek the thrill, to rebel against the governing rules.  People were drawn to him, he carved his own path, he was a leader.

Ken's smile, his infectious smile, his laugh, and his heart, his heart, his heart was gold.

I envision Ken as a warrior, on the battlefield between good, and evil.  He was blessed with the strength of a thousand armies, the looks of a superhero, and the charisma of John F. Kennedy.  But, he was also cursed with a mind, although genius at times....was broken.

Ken's ability to win people over, his unmatched competitive spirit were being drowned out by the voices that told him he was undeserving of happiness, his own worst enemy.  

The grand stature of his body, the strong, masculine structure of his face were all a mere container for the fragile mind that moved it.  The fractured thinking that ran rampant behind those bright blue eyes....we may never know the demons that haunted you.  But we know that you are free, free from the stories you wore on your increasingly weathered face.  Your rugged, torn hands that you worked so hard with.

My hope is that your life can be an example of the cross you bared, that so many bare, that became too heavy, even for you, the young man that we all believed could move mountains in our youth.

I hope too, that I, your sister, can be an example that's god does save us, in our darkest hour.  That evil can be overcome if you truly relinquish control, and ask for it.  I would like to share a poem that I wrote in the first days of my 15 years of sobriety.  I was in the clutches of Satan, my life was seemingly hopeless.  My poem describes the moment that I felt the Lord pulled me from the dark and into the light:

    You found me helpless, trembling, a captive             in the dungeon of your cowardly enemy,

    Shackled, like a tortured slave.

    Begging for mercy from the evil masochist, foolish ridicule spoken by the venomous tongue of the ruthless tyrant.

    He feasted on my weak, fragile soul.  He mocked my pleas for freedom, he heckled my desperate cries.  He would not cease until I had perished.  The sick, savage beast taunted me with demonic tools of torture.

    On my knees I begged you Lord for salvation.  You heard me desperate mercy screams, you felt my ravaged body's pain, my splintered thoughts.  You poured over me like rain in a desert, quenched my thirsting spirit.

    My violent suffering ended with your cleansing grace.  The cold, dark dungeon just a memory.  For now I live in the warm, colorful safety of your fruitful garden.

Please move forth with the kindness that Ken had in his heart.  Reach out to someone suffering in this often all too dark world. And try not to judge, and show them too, that there is LIGHT!

Nick was the oldest of our three kids. We had him when we were only 17. So it was kinda like we grew up with him. I did not know I could love someone so much. He taught me what was important in life and made me so proud to be his mother.

When he was a teenager he started drinking and experimenting with some drugs but at that time I thought it was the normal teenage stuff. After graduation, he got a job working in shipping and was engaged to get married to his high school sweetheart. All seem great! He still liked to drink and go out with his friends but always seemed happy and no issues. One day he hurt his back at work and went to the doctor and they prescribed him opioids for the pain. He was on those for awhile. I think that is when his addiction really took over. Then his fiance broke it off because she got into a relationship with someone else and I am sure the drinking and painkillers contributed to that. His world was shattering around him. He went through depression and started showing up late to work so he was let go. He was introduced to heroin and that is when his legal troubles began. He was arrested and then broke his probation cause he tested positive to drugs and spent a while in jail. I though that was bad and fought to get him out. He was clean and looked great when he was released. I had my Nick back!!! Unfortunately, I did not know how powerful that his addiction was and only 45 days later he was gone! He received a full batch of fentanyl and lost his battle to addiction. I was lucky to have him with me for 26 yrs just wish it was a lot longer! A parent should never have to bury their child. Our lives are forever changed and one day I will see my angel again.🙏❤️

To my Big Brother,

Thank you for not telling mom about the broken couch after we wrestled, or the real reason why I needed 4 stitches above my upper eye. Thank you for always playing in the snow with me and driving me to school every day when I was a freshman in high school (even though we had to walk 4 blocks to get to school every day because you didn’t want to pay for a parking pass). Thank you for convincing mom and dad to get us a dog. You were so good with Sugar. I would have never told you this, but I was so jealous. She just took to you and from that day forward you guys were inseparable. God, you loved animals. From Sammy the hamster to Sugar and Bailey. You always had a way to connect with animals. Thank you for always playing video games with me even though you always won. Thank you for always going swimming with me even though you always threw me in. Thank you for showing me how to be tough, even though it took getting beat up on a daily basis. Thank you for helping me form my own taste in music because god knows yours was awful. Thank you for passing on your love of flaming hot Cheetos and cookies, and frozen pizzas.

There was a time when we were kids when Chris announced he had a terrible stomachache after eating a whole bag of flaming hot Cheetos. So what did Chris do? What did my big bro do? He went upstairs and brought down a handful of cookies and milk. What was his rationale? He planned on washing down the bag of Cheetos with cookies and milk as if it was some unknown remedy. But that was Chris. Genuine. Kind. Soft-spoken. Artistic. Real. We didn’t express our love through words or hugs like regular families. No. Rather we expressed our love through insults, and punches and body slams and Chris if you were here right now, god, I’d punch you so hard. But as I reflect on the memories we’ve shared I want to thank you for being my big brother. We didn’t always get along, but we were brothers. We didn’t always have the same interests, but we were brothers. You left us too soon, but we will always be brothers. I love you. Till we meet again…

For a man I didn't always get along with, it sure is hard to say goodbye. There are plenty of "woulda shoulda coulda's", but the biggest is that I didn't talk to him when he tried to reach out to me. I've learned it is so important to let go of the past, forgive, and reconcile. Because one day it may be too late. Despite our differences and our difficulties, I do miss him. And I do regret not answering the phone that one time. I regret not swallowing my pride and living up to his image of me.... the forgiving one. Miss you, Dad. I know that one day, I'll see you again -- I know you're up there dancin' with David and singing with the heavenly choir in your best off-tune voice. Maybe you're even entertaining angels with your silly made-up lyrics. See you in Heaven, Dad.

Nathan Kosakowski was a big brother to four siblings. He was a genius and very creative in music and art. He also was an amazing chef. He was someone who could do anything. He was also very loving to his family and close friends. We miss him dearly, but he is always with us.

We will miss the way he made everyone laugh in any situation. He loved deeply, did not judge others, and was a friend to all. He struggled for eight long years to overcome his addiction. He completed many rehab and treatment programs but could never overcome the stigma associated with the disease and believe in his own self-worth. He was passionate about helping others in their daily journey of sobriety. Tyler would be so proud to know that he is continuing to help others through the Shatterproof organization.

Beloved son of Lynne and Franklin, brother of Curtis and brother in law to Ashley. Charming and engaging, CT befriended all and enjoyed golfing, skiing, cars, computers and sports of all kinds. Although earning an Associates in Auto and Diesel, a Bachelors in Computer Science, and becoming a professional ski instructor, his young adult life was sadly overshadowed by the challenges of opiate addiction, ultimately succumbing to its influence. His addictive behaviors led him into the jagged restraints of our country's correctional system that unfortunately only worsened his anxiety and taught him new unhealthy ways to try and circumvent his addiction and the system. His family did everything they could to try and support him upon his reintroduction to society. He will be remembered and missed for his brilliant sense of humor and his sweet loving nature.

Zeb was a great guy who worked hard and loved his family. He had a daughter and a son who both thought their daddy hung the moon. He had a fiancé that he had been with since high school. He loved cars, music, tattoos, and the Chicago Bears. Zeb struggled with addiction for many years. He lost his dad at a very young age and he was always haunted by it. He fought hard. Sadly addiction beat him. We lost him way too soon and we miss him and will miss him every single day.

The son who showed the most love. The brother who would always have your back. The uncle who got you the best candy and toys. The grandson who called just to check in. The student, the athlete who gave it their all. You, Christopher, were this person. Your journey here on earth was short. Your memories are in my heart forever.
Christopher was quite the student and athlete. He seem to excel quite quickly. After high school he tried college for a while, but soon decided working and making money was his passion. He was totally dedicated to his job. I guess all along he had an addictive personality. He loved to travel no matter where the job took him. It was then and there the opioid addiction came into his life. Whenever he was home he continued to work on projects for us. Building things, cooking fabulous meals, remodeling, no project was too hard or big. Always staying busy to try to beat the habit. We know you wanted to be clean. We know the struggle was hard and deep. Always wanting to please those around him. Always making the day brighter, happier. We all believed that this would be the year of being clean for a whole year, but that knock on the door proved us all wrong. At work far away Fentanyl would be the final culprit. The struggle was over, the wanting the desire to be clean had come full circle. You are pure and clean now rest my son.
Lynn Gray your mom forever

My son passed while in sober living at a recovery group Houston Texas. No phone call was made to me, I called because I didn't hear from him. I called ask for him, no answer.

He’s in Heaven. 🙏🏼

I spent over a decade with Chris in a tumultuous and on-and-off relationship. Our addictions were what made it so difficult. However, I don't think I would change the years spent with him at all because I learned so much about myself through our relationship. I doubt that anyone ever knew or will know me like Chris knew me and like I knew him.

Chris' addiction caused him to hurt others emotionally. Chris' addiction caused him to be misunderstood. It caused him pain that was nearly unbearable to him. Addiction caused him to fail and stole his ambitions. Addiction caused him great depression, or perhaps depression caused him great addiction, but whatever the case, he fought an extremely powerful, terrible, deadly combination for a long time. Although he ultimately lost his fight, I would consider every single day that he lived a small victory- and every day that he was sober a great victory. And those negative things that addiction caused and/or created, were not him. Chris never meant to hurt others. Some people do, they have anger and intend to do the hurtful things that they do. However, this was not Chris. Chris loved his family, loved his friends, loved people- in general. He had compassion. He had love in his heart. Sometimes addiction can really make you the opposite of who you really are inside, that was true for me as well. When sober, he was the best guy in the world and I loved him so much. I saw the real him through the symptoms of alcoholism and that kept me loving him and hoping, believing, waiting, praying- for years. When sober, he was the best father to his kids, he was the most loving and supportive partner- the best partner- to me. He had many, many, many friends. I didn't observe it much, just heard his thoughts and feelings, but he loved his mother (SOOOOO much, I think every mother hopes to be loved by their children like her loved her), and assume he was the best son. He was always so hardworking, you'd be hard-pressed to find someone better, there wasn't a lazy bone in his body and he worked harder than anyone around him, even if he didn't have to or no one was looking. He loved hard work and working hard, and I am sure his employers would say he was the best employee.

Chris' addiction lied to him, told him and caused him to believe things that weren't true. Chris' story is an important and compelling example of how powerful addiction can be and how it can destroy the very best people, our very best young people! You don't have to be a bad person or a weak person to find yourself with addiction. You simply have to be a person born with certain genes, or a hurt/hurting person, a depressed person, an anxious/uncomfortable person, socially awkward person, a person that drinks too much and/or for too long (even happily), just about any kind of person. You simply have to be (sometimes randomly) affected. Then addiction takes over. Hopefully, in the future, we will be able to get more people- more of our fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, lovers, husbands, wives, friends- back, to take them back from Addiction and its grasp. I pray that someday, no one will have to lose the Christopher Schmidt in their life, recovery will be available/possible for and achieved by everyone!

Kelsey had these big blue eyes and when she smiled she could light up a room. She was an old soul with a tender heart. Kelsey was crazy about her older brother and sister. She always wished they were closer in age because she loved being around them. Kelsey was loved by her family and friends and I also know that she hated her heroin addiction which made her isolate from us. I feel the same... I love Kelsey beyond words but hated her addiction.

Missing someone can't be explained in words... It's the little things that go unnoticed daily that I miss the most about your Mom. Talking to you on the phone to hear about your day, "Wheel of Fortune" always brings a smile to my face, tie-dye shirts, but greater than any of these I miss your smile!!!
Addiction took you away from me, your sisters, your grandkids, and all the people you called friends. I refuse to allow mine to do the same. My greatest wish is that you could've seen me sober Mom. It's a walk I wish we could've taken together...

Christy was a beautiful soul. She fought a good fight battling CMT and other health disorders. She was often misunderstood and hurt deeply. She was a believer in Jesus Christ and I watched as she leaned on her Lord and Saviour. Her smile lit up the room and warmed hearts. She would always stop and take the time to acknowledge those who were generally overlooked. She loved animals and all of God's creation. She suffered in pain from her CMT which she took pain medication for. It was her struggle. She overcame alcoholism through the love of Christ and the love she experienced from others. RIP Christy. Never forgotten and forever loved.

I miss my mom. It’s been 6 months since she passed away peacefully in her sleep. Although she is gone physically, I know that she is around me in spirit everyday of my life. My mother struggled with opioid addiction for over 15 years, she pushed away her loved ones including her own children towards the end of her life. If I could go back in time I would try harder to get her the help she needed, but now I spend most days trying not to blame myself for her death. I know it’s not my fault deep down but it’s something I struggle with daily. Before her addiction my mom was my best friend. She was funny, quick witted and had a beautiful kind heart. I will always miss the person she used to be before addiction took over her body and personality. The one thing that I truly find comfort in knowing is that she is finally out of pain. She is in eternal rest and is at peace with her mind, body and soul. I love you Momma.

John grew up in a bad area of Las Vegas. He took care of his mom in her final years. When she passed 2 years ago, John took it hard. He distanced himself from the few family members he had and even broke off all contact with them and eventually his girlfriend and mother of his baby girl.
John lived on the street, addicted to meth... he wanted to change but, never took the necessary steps. The girl he left never gave up on him though... her mom, in California, supported her in her sobriety and relapses. Only a few days ago, she returned to Vegas and sadly learned that he had died a week before of a meth-related heart attack. If she hadn’t gone to find him... no one would have ever known what happened. He would’ve been 37 this past Tuesday.